"Lovely isn't it?"
What?
"Life," he said.
I wondered, how important ritual is?
"Vital," he said.
But why? Deep inside, you know your convictions.
"Mitch," he said, "faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe."
There's this salesman, and he knocks on a door. The man who answers says, 'I don't need anything today.' The next day, the salesman returns. 'Stay away,' he is told. The next day, the salesman is back. The man yells, 'You again! I warned you!' He got so angry, he spits in the salesman's face. The salesman smiles, wipes the spit with a handkerchief, then looks to the sky and says, 'Must be raining.'
That's what faith is. If they spit in your face, you say it must be raining. But you still come back tomorrow.
When I asked the Reb, Why do bad things happen to good people?, he gave none of the standard answers. He quietly said, "No one knows." I admired that. But when I asked if that ever shook his belief in God, he was firm.
"I cannot waver," he said.
Well, you could, if you didn't believe in something all powerful.
"An atheist," he said.
Yes.
"And then I could explain why my prayers were not answered."
Right.
He studied me carefully. He drew in his breath.
"I had a doctor once who was an atheist. This doctor, he liked to jab me and my beliefs. He used to schedule my appointments deliberately on Saturdays, so I would have to call the receptionist and explain why, because of my religion, that wouldn't work."
Nice guy, I said.
"Anyhow, one day, I read in the paper that his brother had died. So I made a condolence call."
After the way he treated you?
"In this job," the Reb said, "you don't retaliate."
I laughed.
"So I go to his house, and he sees me, I can tell he is upset. I tell him I am so sorry for his loss. And he says, with an angry face, 'I envy you.'
"'Why do you envy me?' I said.
"'Because when you lose someone you love, you can curse God. You can yell. you can blame him. You can demand to know why. But I don't believe in god. I'm a doctor! And I couldn't help my brother!'
"He was near tears. 'Who do I blame? he kept asking me. 'There is no God. I can only blame myself.'"
The Reb's face tightened, as if in pain.
"'That," he said, softly, "is a terrible self-indictment."
Worse than an unanswered prayer?
"Oh yes. It is far more comforting to think God listened and said no, than to think that nobody's out there."
He loved to smile. He avoided anger. He was never haunted by "Why am I here?" He knew why he was here, he said: to give to others, to celebrate God, and to enjoy and honor the world he was put in. His morning prayer began with "Thank you, Lord, for returning my soul to me." When you start that way, the rest of the day is a bonus.
Happiness?
"That's right. The things society tells us we must have to be happy-a new this or that, a bigger house, a better job. I know the falsity of it. I have counseled many people who have all these things, and I can tell you they are not happy because of them. They had money and health. Having more does not keep you from wanting more. And if you always want more-to be richer, more beautiful, more well known - you are missing the bigger picture, and I can tell you from experience, happiness will never come."
When a baby comes into the world, its hands are clenched. Why? Because a baby, not knowing any better, wants to grab everything, to say, 'The whole world is mine.'
But when an old person dies, how does he do so? With his hands open. Why? Because he has learned the lesson.We can take nothing with us.
So have we solved the secret of happiness?
"I believe so," he said.
Are you going to tell me?
"Yes. ready?"
Ready.
"Be satisfied."
That's it?
"Be greatful."
That's it?
"For what you have. For the love you receive. And for what God has given you."
That's it?
He looked me in the eye. Then he sighed deeply.
"That's it."
What profits a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul?
I think people expect too much from marriage today. They expect perfection. Every moment should be bliss. That's TV or movies. But that is not human experience.
Twenty good minutes here, forty good minutes there, it adds up to something beautiful. The trick is when things aren't so great, you don't junk the whole thing. It's okay to have an argument. It's okay that the other one nudges you a little, bothers you a little. It's part of being close to someone.
One, as in the singular God. One, as in the Lord's creation, Adam.
"Ask yourself, 'Why, if he meant for there to be faiths bickering with each other, didn't he create that from the start? He created trees, right? Not one tree, countless trees. Why not the same with man?
What is there that forgiveness cannot achieve?
It does no good to be angry or carry grudges. It churns you up inside. IT does you more harm than the object of your anger.
I used to think I knew everything. The higher I climbed, the more I could look down and scoff at what seemed silly or simple. I should be ashamed of thinking I knew everything, because you can know the whole world and still feel lost in it. So many people are in pain-no matter how smart or accomplished-they cry, they yearn, they hurt. But instead of looking down on things, they look up, which is where I should have been looking too. Because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things:
Comfort, Love, and a Peaceful Heart.
